Europe Roadie Part 4 – French Rivier and people with too much $


So from Italy we took the last of our troublesome Italian roads and headed to the land of the rich and famous…the French Riviera.

 Montecarlo (Monaco)

 First stop on the agenda was the home of the James Bond casino…Montecarlo! So this was our only stop in Monaco, not actually sure if there is anything else in Monaco. After having to park on top of a huge hill as our van is just a tad too tall for those crappy underground car parks we got time to have a mooch and admire the numerous flash cars, plastic women and miniature dogs.  We had already decided that we would splash out and have a gamble at the casino so that was our first destination, Nick quickly found himself at home on a Lord of the Rings slot machine (typical bloody kiwi), this is where we spent the majority of our time and money and although we left with no profits we made 15euro last a pretty goddam long time.  After this we walked round the marina, taking in all the a-maaaazing super yachts, some had swimming pools and hot tubs on the top deck, got a little bit jealous but nothing compares to the spacious Volkswagen campervan to travel in, we even have an awning…yes an awning. Following a quick splash around in the sea and dry off on the pebbly beach with the other middle to lower classes we headed onwards to find somewhere to sleep for the night.

 Nice and Cannes

 We managed to find a nice little campsite which had good access to both Cannes and Nice, so we started our day with a trip into Nice which is actually very nice (hahaha…dad joke). No really it is actually a lovely city, the beach is probably a little bit too touristy for our liking but walking along the promenade with the palm trees and sunshine, it all felt good. We wandered around the marina, and the skinny little streets of the old town, stopping for our first “French croissant” which was ‘tres bon’ and then stumbled across an awesome fresh produce market. We got a good feel for the city and took a fair few photos…so then we hopped on the train to Cannes.

 Cannes was quite similar to Montecarlo, but not quite as nice.  Again lots of nice cars, huge super yachts, plastic women and little dogs.  Had a mooch around here, checked out the beach tried to sunbathe but couldn’t handle the heat! Had a quick gander at how much it would cost to rent a super yacht, for one of the reasonablish size ones it was 500,000euro a week. A bit out of our budget.

 St. Tropez

 Last stop on the celebrity super-yachting circuit was St. Tropez.  Its actually a really nice little town, and not too flashy and over the top, of course there were a fair few fake tans, boobs and teeth but not enough to make you forget what real humans look like. We enjoyed walking around, but as there was no beach and we accidently bought the MOST expensive liquorice and giant cola bottles in the world (6.50euros for 2 of each) we decided to go find this beach all the celebs were talking about. Pamplona beach is just a few kilometres out of the city and is apparently “THE” celeb spot…however all we saw was far too many tits and ass, and saggy man bits.  Unbeknownst to us a large, well actually a huge part of this beach is a nudist beach, and as we had to park with the other poor folk, to get to the rich end you have to walk all the way through it.  Nick kept his eyes focused on the ground, whilst I tried to hide my awkward laughter, it seriously was like something out of a scary movie, you couldn’t look anywhere without seeing a guys sausage! Anywhoo we walked down the whole beach and we spotted NO celebs, although we did admit to ourselves, we don’t actually think we would recognise any people and if we did would we care…um not really.  We did think it was our lucky day when a paparrazi guy came and asked for our photo, and were just a bit peeved when he told us where we could go and buy it from later. After enough of the nudity and lack of being mistaken for celebs we drove onwards and found another campsite.

Next Stop SPAIN………

Hope everyone is all good. Much love Nick and Nat






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